How to release the pain caused by others

What's the best gift you can give yourself at any time of the year?

How about overcoming the pain caused by someone you loved and trusted?

What happens when you've been wronged by another and you want to move on? How do you let it go - get on with your life - and make sure it doesn't happen again?

The short answer is that you forgive yourself for attracting them into your life - so you don't have to continue to carry the burden around and so that you don't repeat the same experience with another person.

You forgive yourself for ALLOWING it to happen - not for causing it to happen.

Right now you may be in some sort of a mental prison. There may be a lot of resentment and other similar feelings. And what you're feeling now - the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the hurt; WILL influence your future relationships.

Bitterness only leads to more bitterness. Hurt leads to more hurt.

Forgiveness is a way to clear out those old feelings from the past so you will be better able to believe in yourself and trust yourself. Not to mention you'll be wiser and more perceptive.

But are you responsible for what they did?

No, absolutely not. You don't forgive yourself to make them 'not guilty'. You created your reality and they created theirs.

And the realities overlapped.

A cheater is basically that way before you meet them.

A betrayer is a betrayer before they come into your life.

The question is - why did I attract someone like this into my life?

Of course you didn't KNOW they would cheat or betray you when you first met them. But then, maybe there were little hints and clues you ignored. I don't know.

The point is, you CHOSE to allow them into your life. You allowed it to happen.

That 'allowing' is your responsibility; something you can forgive yourself for.

The value of forgiving yourself is -

first of all, it's empowering to accept responsibility for YOUR contribution. Yes, I understand you were wronged. They engaged in hurtful behavior that was unjustified.

By forgiving yourself, you don't say their behavior was acceptable. On some level, they must 'pay' for what they did. But that's not your business. (I understand many try to make it their business!)

But you would be much more productive by dealing with YOUR contribution to these events. And not worrying about their contribution.

"They'll get theirs."

But look at the damage it does to YOU by not forgiving yourself.

Maybe you don't believe in yourself anymore.

Maybe you don't trust yourself to make good decisions.

Maybe your self-confidence is lacking.

Maybe you're carrying around a ton of pain.

And I would guess many other problems as well have come up because you've been wronged.

Forgiving yourself can heal the damage they caused.

Also, you don't let someone 'off the hook' by forgiving yourself for what they did.

YOU LET *YOU* OFF THE HOOK BY FORGIVING YOURSELF.

Sorry to shout, but I want to make that point clear. By forgiving yourself, you empower yourself. You free yourself from your own private prison of pain.

Forgiveness is a strength; it empowers you.

By not forgiving yourself, you are not honoring or respecting yourself. You're saying you don't matter.

Forgiveness creates freedom. Forgiveness is liberating. Forgiveness is a positive, pro-active decision. It's a deliberate choice from a position of power and responsibility.

It's an act of character and integrity. It takes courage. I admit it's not easy to be kicked by someone and then forgive YOURSELF for being kicked. Because, "It's not me - I didn't do this! It's THEM!! They're the bad ones!"

But finding your own contribution to being kicked is like finding a foothold to greater power and greater strength. You will become 'more' if you forgive yourself for being wronged.

It takes enormous courage to let go of the blame. So often we seek our strength in blame. We anchor to it. And the thing is, we really are justified to blame!

We really WERE wronged. Nobody would deny that. It's obvious.

But what I'm saying is to go beyond the obvious. If blame really did solve problems, what a wonderful world this would be!

But blame doesn't solve problems. In fact, it locks those problems in place.

The trap is, you really are justified in blaming. But if you do, it keeps those painful feelings in place. You can't grow and stretch and reach for more in life when you're blaming.

It's like putting your feelings in the freezer. And then you have to tote that freezer around with you every where you go.

Blame is like being seduced by a beautiful woman with a hidden agenda. You think she really does like you when all she wants is your money.

If you know her game, you can easily resist. If you turn a blind eye, you'll get taken.

You think blame is your friend, but really all it wants is your power. You must give up your power to blame.

I know it doesn't seem that way, because we always get a cheap hit of power when we blame. But it never lasts.

It's like spending on credit. There's no problem until the payment comes due!

But to me, the biggest benefit of forgiving myself for being wronged by another is that it helps to ensure that it doesn't happen again. "I've suffered enough. I don't want to go through the same situation again."

But if I don't forgive, then most likely I WILL repeat the same mistakes again. Or else, I'll try not to love anyone else for the rest of my life. Which is almost impossible.

More likely, since I haven't explored the reasons WHY I created a hurtful person into my life, I'll create another hurtful person into my life.

Then I'll have to go through the same pain again.

Just thinking about that is depressing!

You want to live a better life, not repeat the pain of the past.

Forgiveness helps to make things better. So next time, you'll have a better chance of finding someone who'll treat you with respect.

Because you respected yourself enough to forgive YOURSELF for what THEY did.

You forgave yourself for YOUR contribution; because you played a part in what happened.

You are not a spectator in your life.

You're not a helpless victim.

You created what happened.

Not by causing, but by allowing.

You allowed another to hurt you.

Now, you will turn it into something good by changing yourself.

And the way to change is by recognizing what happened, feeling the impact of what happened, and forgiving yourself for why you let it happen in your life.

And later, if you choose to forgive them as well, that's great. But always forgive yourself first - as an acknowledgement to yourself that YOU are in charge of your life - not them.

Why didn't they go ruin someone else's life instead of trying to ruin yours? You may never know.

But the fact is, you let them in, they betrayed you, and now you're left to pick up the pieces.

Okay, you will.

You'll be a winner. You'll take their sucker punch to your gut, and you'll become a better person. Not a bitter, beaten loser. You'll take the pain they tried to dump on you and use it to become strong and powerful.

You'll find the good in their act of wrongness.

While they will in all likelihood continue to be a punishing person.

Maybe someday you'll forgive them for their misdeeds, but for now you're ready to grow and heal and move on.

Remember the old saying -

Living Well Is The Best Revenge!

Forgiveness can be that first step to living well.

Debt management program the easy way out of debts

When faced with debt problems, it makes sense to seek help from a debt management agency. Today, there are scores of alternatives available to those suffering from debt problems. It is very important to tackle the debt problems in an organized manner. If you are unable to find a way through the problem, it is advisable to seek help from experts. This will help you get over the problem quickly.

Contrary to the popular belief that loans can ease the debt burden, they in fact create additional pressure on the borrower. If you can keep up with the payments, it doesn’t pose a serious problem. This rarely happens as most of the borrowers lose track of the loans they opt for. The mounting debts and umpteen number of loans add on to the existing pressure.

Debt management program is a boon to such borrowers. This program will guide you to adopt simple solutions which can help you get over the debt problems quickly. Managing debts becomes an easy task. As a borrower, you should have a clear estimate of the amount of debts you owe. This will help you get a fair idea about the number of payments you need to make. Based on this, you can decide upon the amount of loan you need to borrow.

You can opt for a debt consolidation loan which will help you pay for all the debts through one single loan. Instead of making multiple payments for all the debts, you can make a single payment for all the debts. This will help you reduce your monthly outgoings and get a loan at a lower rate of interest too. Over a period of time, you can save a substantial amount of money.

Now, you no more have to worry about the harassing calls of the creditors. You stand to gain in the following ways by opting for this program:

• Any kind of borrower can opt for these loans.

• You no more have to deal with the creditors.

• You can also opt for an IVA which will help you avoid filing for bankruptcy. This, being a legally binding agreement between you and your creditor allows you to freeze your interest rates.

• It also helps you lower the monthly payments.

Most of the borrowers fear filing for bankruptcy as it affects their financial life negatively. Lenders hesitate in approving loans to them. They also end up losing all the opportunities. You can get free bankruptcy advice by doing some research online. You need not pay any fees for this. The best feature of this service is that you can get instant solution for all the debt problems and seek more knowledge on bankruptcy too. This is also the safest means of regaining control over your finances.

Taking care to website hosting

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Now a day’s website development is going easier. Looking on the new futures like xhtml and css layouts website design is most popular ongoing factors. Now people know the value of a website and how its support their business marketing and promotion.

In 1990’s search engine are not much popular after 2000 search engine like Google and Yahoo plays major part the website promotion. So now making a website is not important but how to promote your website and get good ranking in search engine is most important. Here I like to explain some major factors like web site design, web site development, web hosting, search engine optimization (online and offline), internet promotion and marketing etc.

Website Design - To develop a website in html design layout is now a common but search engines are more supporting to xhtml design and Cascading Style Sheets layout (css design). One of the biggest advantages to using xhtml css layout design is time consumers in website development. Styles sheets define how to display html elements in your website. All major browsers Netscape and Internet explorer support cascading style sheets and solve common problems in html/htm. You ca use lot of extra methods in a single html pages like external style, internal style sheet, inline styles, multiple style sheets.

Website Development - AJAX Asynchronous JavaScript has the power to make your site more compelling and more dynamic Ajax used for creating interactive web development applications. Most advantages of Ajax is real-time form data validation, auto completion, load on demand, sophisticated user interface controls and effects, refreshing data and server push, partial submit, obtain data using a server-side proxy, create single-page marshalled applications, low bandwidth usage and also support search engine.

Image optimization - Image search engine optimization is also now most popular most of the search engines provide vertical image search option. Now a day’s photo sharing sites and social image sharing sites are most popular. Image optimization is web designer need best knowledge and take care of entire image shapes, image sizes, and tag text knowledge levels. For optimization src attribute specified width and height declaration, alt attribute and title attribute is must for an image.

Content optimization - Your website should start with your business content. Now website content is important for all the major search engines. Using duplicate content the search engines punish your website very badly. So your must take care about your web content seriously. In Search Engine Optimization the content is also most important, content spam lost your website ranking.

Meta content optimization -
Meta tags are a great way for webmasters to provide search engines with information about their sites. Meta tags can be used to provide information to all sorts of clients, and each system processes only the meta tags they understand and ignores the rest. Meta tags are added to the section of your HTML page.

Differentiate the descriptions for different pages. Using identical or similar descriptions on every page of a site isn't very helpful when individual pages appear in the web results.

Include clearly tagged facts in the description. The meta description doesn't just have to be in sentence format; it's also a great place to include structured data about the page.

Programmatically generate descriptions. For some sites, like news media sources, generating an accurate and unique description for each page is easy: since each article is hand-written, it takes minimal effort to also add a one-sentence description.

Use quality descriptions. Finally, make sure your descriptions are truly descriptive.

Major points remind to Design and optimization content:

Make a site with a clear hierarchy and text links. Every page should be reachable from at least one static text link.

Offer a site map to your users with links that point to the important parts of your site. If the site map is larger than 100 or so links, you may want to break the site map into separate pages.

Create a useful, information-rich site, and write pages that clearly and accurately describe your content.

Think about the words users would type to find your pages, and make sure that your site actually includes those words within it.

Try to use text instead of images to display important names, content, or links. The Google crawler doesn't recognize text contained in images.

Make sure that your TITLE tags and ALT attributes are descriptive and accurate.

Check for broken links and correct HTML.

If you decide to use dynamic pages (i. e., the URL contains a "?" character), be aware that not every search engine spider crawls dynamic
pages as well as static pages. It helps to keep the parameters short and the number of them few.

Keep the links on a given page to a reasonable number (fewer than 100).

Web hosting – Shared hosting is very popular and the most common type of hosting, having a unique domain IP not a dedicated web hosting will prevent you from being accused as a internet spammer. SERPs ranking in favour of dedicated C Class IP. Using dedicated IP address with a best hosting provider for your website going to be more beneficial in the long run for getting good rankings in search engines.

Plan your next party like a pro

"You're invited…" are always welcome words to hear− whether it's to a barbeque, birthday party, cocktail party, graduation, housewarming, girls' night out or other special event. However, most people think planning a successful party takes a lot of time and effort. Not true, according to Evite, the leading social event - planning service on the Web.

"By following simple party - planning rules, you can plan a fabulous bash in very little time," said Jessica Landy Raymond, a planning expert for Evite. "Your guests will be so impressed, they'll think you hired a pro!"

Organization is essential for seamlessly planning a great social event. Evite has helped millions of hosts plan successful events and offers these tips to take the hassle out of party planning:

1. Choose an event theme-A good theme ensures that guests interact with one another. A great theme-such as a barbecue luau, beach party, '70s-inspired disco, masquerade ball or poker night - will make your party unforgettable.

2. Create an event checklist-Be sure everything gets done on time with a comprehensive to-do list that includes everything from determining an overall budget and selecting an event date to choosing the perfect venue and making a guest list. For tips and sample checklists, check out Evite's Party Checklist.

3. Bring the theme to life-Pull all the pieces of the party together neatly by selecting invitations, decorations, activities and music that complement your theme.

4. Plan the food and beverage menu-The event theme should inspire your menu and beverages. Make sure you have enough food and drink for your guests by consulting recipes and drink calculators during the planning process. For help, try Evite's Drink Calculator and Party Menus & Recipes

5. Relax and enjoy the event!-Remember, the number-one party-planning tip is to not stress about any little things that go wrong. Everyone is there for a good time, and the host should be, too!

Tapping into online party-planning resources is a simple and easy way to fulfill all your planning "to dos."

Advantages of a professional web design vs doing it yourself

Your website says a great deal about you and your business. It can make the difference between making a sell and the consumer using another website for their purchase. It is quite possible to design a website on your own, but it isn’t always the best choice.

A professional web designer has insight about what consumers are going to focus on and how to set your site up to offer them exactly what they are looking for. They are also very skilled in how to promote various aspects of your website to help you generate even more sales.

Having a professional design your website generally means you won’t have to spend so much of your time focusing on this aspect of the business. Websites continually need changes and updates so you can see how that will eat away at your time. This means the navigation tools will often need revamping to keep up with such changes. A professional web designer is an expert in making everything fall into place. You want the consumer to be able to click and access on your website without having to consider how to make it happen.

A professional web designer does cost more than doing it yourself, but you can avoid common mistakes that plague do it your self website projects. A huge issue is the scripting of the website. It takes more than good spelling and grammar to make it interesting and attractive to the consumer. Graphic designs look great, but do you know how they affect the consumer? It may attract their attention but if it takes too long for the graphic to open they will likely move on to another website.

You can avoid both of these issues by placing your web design needs into the hand of a professional web designer.

Selling electronic information the new paradigm shift

You can create a win-win proposition in which a buyer wants, and readily requests information from your web site, and happily pays you for it, all electronically, even while you sleep!

The information is digital, usually in the form of an electronic book (eBook). Once purchased, transfer of the information to the customer is digital (via the internet) and immediate. And the transfer of the customer’s money to your bank account is also digital (via Paypal, Clickbank, and others) and immediate. The customer wins because he/she got needed information, immediately. You win because your bank account grew, immediately.

You create the information and then you own it (it’s your asset). Or you can become an affiliate of someone else that owns the information and who has given you permission to promote and sell it. The production cost is mostly related to the amount of time spent at the keyboard creating the original digital product. Unlike hard, physical products like the ones you can hold in your hand (for example, a hard-bound book or a toaster), the cost to reproduce digital information is essentially zero. This is a great advantage in that identical copies of the product can be sold over and over again (your inventory is virtually unlimited) with very little expense in both production and transportation of the information. Even marketing and promotion can be done over the internet, requiring very little continued overhead and expense.

Inexpensive tools are readily available for capturing customer email addresses, creating, packaging and distributing the information product, and collecting the customer’s payment. Or, you can hire out someone else to set it up for you. You decide the information product you wish to sell, you decide the approach to make it a reality, you make the rules. All you have to do is take action. And you can learn from others that have successfully done it. Here is a roadmap to get you started:

1) Decide on a valuable idea that can be represented as information content. Research your idea and see if it is tangible. Use the internet to see what others have done, and to get an idea of market potential. You must have your own UNIQUE Info Product; offer your own flavor of content that the competition does not have (create your own Unique Selling Proposition).

2) Create the information content using a word processor.

3) Convert the content into an eBook (low-cost software tools are available on the internet for doing this conversion).

4) Purchase a website URL domain name from a reputable web hosting service.

5) Create the website content yourself, or contract to have it done.

6) Get setup with a payment processor to accept credit cards and other online payment formats via your website.

7) Get traffic to your site and capture emails of interested parties. Use an “auto responder”.

8) Stay focused; put passion into your work; take action!

9) As you make money, continually improve and add value to your information product.

This “virtual estate” concept provides a “paradigm shift”, a new perspective, for those smart enough to learn about it and apply it.

Jim McCabe

Why you have not made a dime investing in real estate investing how to make money fast

Ok, so you haven't made a dime in Real Estate yet right? You want to be a Real Estate Investing Millionaire, but for some reason you can't seem to find good deals on houses. Well, I can tell you what your problem is.

You are doing all of the things that don't make you money in real estate! Going around with a Realtor, looking on the web, driving around nice neighborhoods looking for For Sale signs, telling a few people that you Buy Houses....it's a major waste of time.

That's just keeping yourself busy! Do you want to "PLAY REAL ESTATE" or do you want to be a "Real Deal" Real Estate Investor? If you don't want to do what it takes, do yourself a favor and go down to Toys R' Us pick up a game of Monopoly and call it a day. If you're more interested in the latter, then you need to listen up! Spend that time knocking on the doors of homeowners in foreclosure. Quit doing all of the "Safe" things like meeting with Realtors. That's why they're safe, because you're not going to make any money. If you don't put yourself out there...YOU'LL NEVER GET A DEAL!

What you're doing is looking for deals on houses & not looking for people that need their problems solved. No one sells their house at a serious discount unless they HAVE TO! Would you sell your house to me for 50 cents on the dollar because I'm a nice guy? Of course not, you worked hard for your home and you don't HAVE TO. But if you had lost your job, were 30 days from losing your home, and I showed you how I could put immediate cash in your pocket, wouldn't you consider it?

As investors we buy houses from people that NEED TO SELL, NOT PEOPLE THAT WANT TO SELL. When you're dealing with a Realtor, 9 times out of 10 they're going to show you nice houses, owned by people that are in no urgent rush to sell. I hardly ever deal with Realtors. I'm not saying to completely alienate yourself from them. That would be foolish. Simply network with them, and let them know that if a killer deal comes along, you can close with cash quickly. Explain what you're looking for and that's when they will call you. I wouldn't go around looking at houses with them. Most Realtors are not trained to look for the types of deals that we're looking for. Actually, they'll probably tell you that it's NOT POSSIBLE to find the kinds of deals that we do.

There's a few things that you need to be looking for..THESE are the things that will lead you to the good deals that you're looking for:

1. Divorce

2. Imprisonment or Court Costs

3. Loss of Job - Foreclosures

4. Bankruptcy

5. Death

6. Job Transfer

7. Bad Tenants - Contact Landlords who have filed evictions

Most of these types of people can be searched by looking through the public information on your local courthouse records. Depending on your location, most of the time these are available online. Situations like Loss Of Job would be discovered by looking through the foreclosures and knocking on their door. You need to focus your attention on people with these types of situations.

These people usually have serious issues that need to be solved. They at one time had the cash to pay for their mortgage and the expenses associated with it. Now due to circumstances beyond their control, things have been thrown out of whack and they need someone to get everything reorganized for them. That's your job...Solve their problem and you'll get a good deal.

Sign Up To Receive Rich Urban's Free Real Estate Investing Course at: youngrealestateinvesting. com/freecoaching

You want know the REAL TRUTH about making money in Real Estate that everyone else is too scared to reveal you? Are you sick of all the B. S., hype, lies and scams out there?