Self-publishing the hard way the art of giving birth

You know? When you publish a book and send it out into the world, it's like giving birth to a baby. Everyone checks out your baby. Is it breath-taking? Does it have ten toes and ten fingers? Is it pink and sweet or does it look like an extra from "Alien?" We writers are baring our souls, our deepest thoughts, and our feelings lay open like a cavernous wound. We can't hide anymore. They know us inside and out. Now they see our baby, and they get to pick it to pieces, bit by bit, until the only thing left is a fuzzy blanket.

Oh, hell, we know that and go right on writing, don't we? It's in our DNA. We can't help ourselves, we're masochists.

When I started this whole book-writing process, I had full intentions of finding an agent and/or a traditional publisher; they'd do all the work while I sat back and listened to "Ca-ching, Ca-ching." However my journey to that end has been long and stress-filled and I ended up doing just the opposite...I'd kept a daily journal while living in Thailand in the 90s. When I returned to the States, I copied my journal onto a floppy and had it printed, spiral-bound, and mailed it out to friends and family so they could read about all my trials and tribs while abroad. One of the friends who read it insisted that I make a book out of it.

"You know," she said, "like the book 'A Year in Provence.'" I immediately ran out and bought the book and was amazed at the problems that the author had endured in a short year. I just knew that if his book sold, then mine would also, however, life got in the way of living and I put it aside.

I joined some creative writing classes a few years later, and with encouragement from my peers I began the long road of putting the journal into book form. In 2003, when I finally thought I'd finished it, I entered it into the Southern California Writers Conference in San Diego. While there, I read chapters from my story in the Read and Critique groups and the attendees laughed in all the right places and even clapped, (I'd hoped it wasn’t because they were happy I'd finished). At the end of the conference I was notified that I'd won the Best Nonfiction award for my story and an agent asked for my manuscript. Wow! That just doesn’t happen unless they love it! I knew I was ready for the Pulitzer.

Then I began to panic. What if it isn't perfect? I had talked to a "book doctor" at the conference who advised me that my story "…needed some conflict. Who really cares about a housewife who's having a good time in Thailand? Give them a reason to turn the page." Okay, that's what I'll do. There certainly was plenty of conflict in my life in Thailand, but I'd left it out; it was painful to relive and I wanted it to be a humorous book. I emailed the agent and told her I wasn't ready. Take your time, she’d said. It's not time sensitive.

So began the journey of "weaving" the conflict into my story. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. It was three years before I felt it was good enough to be a real book. But, those three years were not only spent rewriting. I took online writing classes and signed up at the local college for creative writing classes, I attended a critique group every week, putting my chapters up to their scrutiny as they tore it apart and helped put it back together. The rest of the time I was editing my life away. But as Stephen King says in his book On Writing: edit, edit and edit. And when you think it's perfect, edit some more. My husband had a name for my constant editing: "Paralysis by analysis."

When I felt I had everything in place, I looked for professional editing. I first paid the book doctor $500 to tell me that it needed help. He didn't give me any, just told me it needed it. I found a line-editor in Canada, who did a great job, and then I hired a freelance editor; total for both $600; quite inexpensive in today's editing market.

During those three years, I also did a lot of reading on the publishing world; agents, print-on-demand (PODs) and off-set printing companies. I attended conferences specifically on "How to get published." The more I heard and read, the more I thought: From all the conferences I'd attended, the agent panels were the most disillusioning. I learned that agents don't want you if you've not been published, and publishers don't want you if you've not been published, or don't have an agent, who doesn't want you either. Who needs 'em?

Publishers don't want you if you don't have a "platform!" A what? To my dismay I learned that I needed to have my own buying public. There was no publisher that was going to run out and sell my book for me, pay for my cross-country book signings and hotel rooms, unless of course I was a King or a Grisham or a Joyce Carol Oates. Then of course, there's the eighteen month wait for the book to appear on the shelves after the publisher accepts it (if the publisher doesn't decide to pull the plug at the last minute), and don't forget the two years that it takes the agent to shop around for a publisher who might decide to pull the plug at the last minute. Who has that long? I don't even buy green bananas anymore.

Wow! I remember my table mates and I frowning as we listened to the dire answers of this panel of agents and publishers. So how do we get published? Well, we have two options so it seemed: 1) have an agent living next door who loves your home cooked brownies or has a crush on your husband, or 2) know a publisher whose kid mows your lawn or has a crush on you. Not living in New York was going to be a definite drawback. Should I move? Okay, how about a POD? I was fortunate to have a friend who is a small press publisher of railroad books. He offered to put my manuscript into a Quark Express PDF file (which is the format printers prefer). He did an incredible job putting it together for me. He felt that if I had the print setup taken care of, I could approach a POD and save some money.

I signed up for the POD classes at the conferences I attended, where they explained everything I needed to know about their business ─ except how they kept most of the author's money while they got big and rich and the author got $3.09 per book. Okay, well, $3.09 a book is not that bad. Maybe I could make it. But, wait, I had to pay them to print my book, and then pay them to buy my book back from them; too many "thems" going on here. Something didn't compute. Maybe I should chuck the book and go into the POD business.

Well, I succumbed. I bought a book called The Fine Print of Self Publishing by Mark Levine, an attorney, then sat down to do some homework. After going over all the PODs he listed with a fine-tooth calculator, I realized that I could pay as much as $30,000 to one such POD group, but hey, my books would be free. How generous of them. Or, I could choose a POD group charging as low as $299, but I'd still have to buy my own books back at about $8.00 each.

I finally settled on a firm I'll call "Dewey Cheatem & Howe" (name changed to protect the guilty), and thought I'd finally get on with this damn book printing. They sent me a sample of their work that was done beautifully. I signed on the dotted line, waited three more weeks and then my author's copy was delivered. And there it sat. On my desk. Opened to the first page, which I couldn't read. I started bawling. Where is my baby? The font was so garbled that it was illegible. There was a space after every capital letter and the other letters were so piled on each other you couldn't make out the words.

When I'd used all the Kleenex in my desk drawer, I called them. Of course, no one was on the other end, save for the automated voice of their mailboxes. But at least I got rid of my postpartum anger. I cried and said very imperiously, "HOLD THE PRESSES! I will not accept this book. I will call Visa (of course they already had my money) and stop payment and …" I felt like an inner tube impaled on a sharp rock. Then I called my friend, the publisher. "Of course you can do this on your own. You have the file, just find a good printing company."

I inquired around and found out that I could get my book printed overseas at half the cost of stateside. I began to get phone numbers and surfed websites. There were some good deals to be made overseas; however, the problem was I needed a broker. So after the broker took his cut, and the shipping charges were added, a stateside printer looked better. Plus, the thought of having a problem and not being able to connect at once with your printer was worrisome.

I searched the Internet and found many websites where you could input the details of your book, number of pages, size of book, print run, etc., and within a week I got a bid from ten printing companies. After picking one printer (not the cheapest), I felt we had a fit. I spoke to the owner, who offered to throw in a hundred free books, which might have had something to do with my decision. He checked out my website while we were speaking, loved the site and the look of my book and of course, he had me. He also offered storage and order fulfillment. Now, all I had to do was put our house on the market and clear out our 401K.

I know what you're thinking. Sure, maybe she has it, but not everyone can come up with that much money. Yes, you can if you want to. We took an equity line on our home and as the money comes rolling in, I'll be making payments on the equity line. We authors must be optimists. Really! If you don't believe in your book, who will?

I ran off my own bookmarks and saved a few hundred dollars. I used the cover of the book, wrote a short synopsis on the back, and had 500 printed. I have handed out those bookmarks on airplanes and in airports; Seattle, Palm Desert, San Diego, Portugal, New York, Australia, New England… well maybe not personally, but I've given them to people who live in those places and they were happy to have them and said they'd pass them on. I've handed them out in restaurants to women sitting around me; two of them bought my book right on the spot. My friends call me "A self-promoting slut."

I have to leave you now, as that's where I am in this wonderful world of the written word, where the writing was easy… now comes the hard part ─ marketing!

Hot research paper ideas for summer time

It’s a common belief that summer is the right time just for swimming in a warm blue see, tanning under the hot blazing sun, backpacking, camping, flying a kite, building a sandcastle… in other words, anything that does not require particular mind work.

But you are greatly deluded if you are following the crowd. Summer is not for lazybones and coach potatoes. It might be a hot time for racking your brain a bit … over research papers!

It is not a joke. You are missing a lot if your summer vacation doesn’t imply papers and textbooks. Writing a research paper in summer can turn out to be more fun and rewarding than ever.

So what can be done in summer for the sake of future research papers?

You can accomplish the first and the most important stage in your preparations to writing a research paper, namely think of its topic and do the preliminary search of information. This work does not require strenuous work and still helps greatly in the future.

Getting down to choosing a research paper topic you should be selective and mindful of several principles.

The first criteria for choosing a successful and attention grabbing topic is to pick the one that is to your liking. If you do not feel like writing a research paper on “Recent Legal History of the Death Penalty”, leave it in peace and move forward to look for a research paper topic you will find thrilling and exciting.

Secondly, choose a topic that will be manageable for your level. You are likely to fail if your research paper topic is too technical, learned, or specialized, since research papers of this kind have only a very narrow range of source materials available in libraries. Therefore, do not even try to pull down monuments and pick the research paper topic with plenty of information on its account.

It is also important that your research paper topic is not too broad and vague. Narrow it down to specifics. For example, “American Folk Songs” could be narrowed down to “The English Origin of American Folk Songs”. It is vital, since broad research paper topics are boring for the reader and difficult to research for the author.

To avoid any further pitfalls, select more than one research paper topic from the start. Find three or four topics that interest you, and then conduct a preliminary search of each topic. Determine which of the research paper ideas can be supported with plenty of published material. This way, you will be able to select a final topic that is both interesting and feasible.

Your next step to writing a research paper in summer is to do a preliminary search on the research paper topic. And Internet – your favorite pastime of all seasons – is all that is needed, since it is full of exciting research paper ideas and tips for better writing.

You do not have to sit in front of the monitor for hours. Simply note the sites that might interest you, find the ones you will need to use later, like those for formatting or with research paper examples. But be careful as anyone can post information on the Internet and anyone can change what is up there, bringing up questions of authority and validity.

And, of course, you can pay a random visit to the cradle of knowledge – a library. It is up to you, but you should bear in mind that such a visit will pay off. Not only the library is not overcrowded and you can feel yourself at home, but also the librarians are not that tired of the visitors and will readily help you with your research paper.

It is better to go to the library by the end of summer, when you have a clear research paper topic and the libraries are starting to open after the refurbishment period.

Check out the following print materials there:

• almanacs, atlases, catalogues;

• encyclopaedias and dictionaries;

• government publications, guides, reports;

• magazines, newspapers;

• vertical files;

• yellow pages.

The information you will find in a library must be enough for your research paper topic. If not, turn to your friends’ and parents’ help. They will not be indifferent to your research and will readily help with whatever you need.

That would do for your summer vacation. You are not asked to strain yourself and think solely of your research paper. But it would be great to take the most out of your summer holidays, when your mind is rested. You will be amazed to find how many research paper ideas are wandering in your head. Simply seize the moment, when some brilliant idea comes to your mind, put it down and use it when the right time comes.

How to create a winning headline in just minutes

Keywords that cut to the heart of your prospect’s pleasure or pain zone are certain to capture the attention and interest of that specific group. Dynamite benefits, extra advantages and unique solutions all naturally draw attention and interest.

To the prospect suffering from a seemingly incurable case of Hay Fever, a headline such as “Stop Hay Fever In Seconds With This Secret Ingredient Found In Every Refrigerator!” is guaranteed to interrupt his online travels and the dozen or so thoughts swirling around in his mind and draw him towards your message.

The obvious keyword is “hay fever” -- this is what the prospect’s radar is set to detect. More specifically, it’s the cure, or the alleviation of pain and discomfort that the prospect seeks. But it’s the use of the word “hay fever” that identified the message as having importance, triggering the reaction and shift in focus.

Prospects are constantly on the lookout for ‘new’ ideas, solutions, and upgrades -- hence the common practice among marketers to unveil ‘new and improved’ versions of older products. ‘New’ implies an improvement over the old, established way. It hints at the promise of a greater benefit.

Promise a unique advantage in your headline and you’ll pull eyeballs towards your proposition. As humans, we’re wired to be on the lookout for ways to get more living out of life. We want more… and we want it faster, easier and at a lower cost. Headlines that scream such advantages reap the reward of higher readership.

Another strategy to create great headlines on demand is to employ proven, attention-getting words and phrases. Following is an ongoing list of such headline words and phrases. Obviously, you’ll want to customize your own headline, but stringing together a few words from this list can get you off to a good start.

That s a hyperbolic understatement if i ever heard one

There are at least sixty different types of rhetorical devices in English literature. The English language is an odd mixture of truth and symbolism and most often exhibits this propensity in the form of various figures of speech. Of all the types of symbolic or rhetorical devices used, hyperbole is the most common. The use of hyperbole may remind you of William Shatner and his propensity to overact.

Worsley Online School asked visitors to come up with examples of hyperbole. Here are a few of the best examples from school-aged children. (Source: worsleyschool. net)

"My sister uses so much makeup when she smiles her cheeks fall off." Ed

"My Teacher's so old she's mentioned in the Old Testament." Kaysie

"My dog is so ugly the fire hydrants disguise themselves!" Cara

"My city is so isolated it takes three days just to get to the grocery store!" Ashley

"Your sister is so dumb, she walked by the YMCA and thought they spelled MACY'S wrong" Alicia

"My history teacher's so old, he lived through everything we've learned about ancient Greece" Ryan

"Saskatchewan is so flat, you can see your dog run away for 4 days!" Jenna

"It was so cold, even the polar bears were wearing jackets." Elizabeth

The opposite demonstration of this rhetorical device is called ‘Understatement’.

This method draws the reader in by providing a statement that does not seem to fully appreciate the impact of event or situation.

Situation: The temperature outside is 10 below zero.

Hyperbole: It is so cold outside your words freeze. No one can hear you until the spring thaw..

Understatement: It might get a little cool today.

Situation: A chef prepares a wonderful dinner.

Hyperbole: The food was so good it got time off for behavior.

Understatement: The food was tolerable.

Situation: Viewing a NASCAR race.

Hyperbole: The car was so fast I heard a sonic boom.

Understatement: The cars drove at a fair clip.

Authors use hyperbole and understatement in both fiction and non-fiction writing, however it is safe to say that the use of hyperbole is much more widely used. Hyperbole is often used excessively and may not be as clever for the reader as we imagined when we devised the hyperbolic line.

As with almost everything in life the use of hyperbole and understatement are best used in moderation. The use of hyperbole may help define a character in a storyline but there is a significant amount of hyperbole that has been relegated to colloquialism and often becomes clichй to the reader.