Showing posts with label Internet_Business. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Internet_Business. Show all posts

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Passover laugh while cleaning

Passover, or Pesach as it is called in Hebrew, is the 8 day festival where the Jews celebrate their liberation from Egypt more than a thousand years ago. One of the most important features of this freedom festival is that the Jews cannot eat anything that is leavened. They eat unleavened bread.


They must also make sure that no bread crumbs exist in or around the house: the cupboards, the drawers, the kitchen, behind the bed, under the refrigerator and anywhere else where crumbs might have fallen through. To ensure that the house is clean of leavened food materials, the Jews have to clean the entire house from top to bottom as thoroughly as possible. And they do. During the week before Passover, house cleaning is what goes on in most Jewish houses. To answer this demand and to ease the tension, here is a joke on this subject called Impossible Timing, which highlights this cleaning tension.


Impossible Timing:


Samuel, an observant Jew, who was also a financial wizard, left Brooklyn to accept the position of Vice President in a famous broker firm in Utah, which is well known for being a Mormon state.


When they learned this, the company's directorate applied tremendous pressure on the company's president. "We are religious people here," they said. "It can't be that a Jew will handle all our money."


The president tried to ward them off, but when he couldn't manage it anymore, he called Samuel to his office and explained the situation to him. Samuel was offered the choice of either converting or leaving the attractive job which also had a six figure salary quote attached to it.


Samuel had no choice but to convert, and he went home and told his wife that from Sunday, they will start attending the Church services.


A few months went by and his wife kept troubling Samuel about the conversion. "This is too difficult for me. I miss the Sabbath: lighting candles and blessing the wine. I miss the holidays. Money is not everything, Samuel dear."


And with each time that his wife complained, Samuel's conscience increased until he could not take it anymore and he went to meet the company's President.


"Look, I can't go on like this," Samuel said. "I am full of regret. Money is not everything. I can't sleep and neither can my wife. This is too heavy a burden for me to carry. I was born a Jew and I want to die a Jew. And if you want me to quit, I will without making any trouble."


The President looked at him in wonder, "Listen, Samuel, I had no idea that this was so difficult for you. I thought it was a trivial matter. But you don't have to leave. Everything will be the same as before: you can stay here with us without converting.


Samuel returned home happy and grinning from ear to ear. He ran to his wife, who was watching Ricky Lake, "You won't believe it! It's a miracle. We are going back to being Jews, and I still retain my job."


His wife looked at him with eyes that spat fire, and said," Are you mad?"


Samuel was shocked. "But I thought that this is what you wanted!" He cut in. "All this while you have been crying and complaining. Don't you wish to go back to becoming a Jew""


His wife looked at him with ever more fury, "Of course I want to. Of course I want to," she said. "But now? Only a week before Passover?"


Tuesday, February 23, 2016

What to look for when starting a myspace account

With the internet continuing to expand and new websites evolving on a daily basis, no website has become as popular as MySpace. As of March 2006, MySpace had become the eighth most popular website in the world with over 68 million accounts. MySpace is a social networking website that allows people to do a variety of things to communicate with others around the world. The MySpace layout allows you to upload personal pictures of yourself, create interactive blogs, start a user profile, and much more. MySpace does have its flaws like everything in life, but there are so many benefits a person can receive from having their own account.


A MySpace layout is centered on your profile. Within the profile are numerous things about you and all of your interests that you choose to tell. The profile allows you to post information about you and basic interests among books, movies, music, television and more.


To personalize your MySpace account even more, it is common to upload several images of yourself or of other pictures that interest you. This helps people identify you and get to know you a little better. MySpace has also turned into one of the leading interactive and entertainment oriented websites on the internet.


Through the MySpace layout you can keep track of how many friends you have and who they are. This allows you to communicate and send messages to friends to keep in touch. There is an Instant Message feature that allows you to talk to friends instantaneously if they are logged on to their account as well.


MySpace has become a great way for music artists to get their name out in the public. By starting a MySpace account and posting their music on their profile, such bands as Hawthorne Heights and My Chemical Romance promoted themselves and became what they are today. Many bands around the world are doing the same thing by posting their music and sending it to hundreds of thousands of MySpace accounts to become noticed.


As noted earlier, MySpace does have its flaws and concerns. MySpace is set up so that anyone can customize the colors and layout of their own page with no restrictions. Most MySpace users are not skilled web developers, which can cause problems such as freezing web browsers through poorly constructed profiles. Along with the inexperience of web development, there are several ads and pop-ups that a user will encounter that can freeze a page or result in the page taking a long time to load.


Another problem with MySpace that has become popular in the news is the content that can be posted on the website. There have been a number of cases concerning nude and indecent pictures being posted on peoples’ profiles. There have also been many instances of adults using the website to meet, talk to and stalk teenagers. That is why it is important that teenagers are aware of the danger they put themselves in by posting personal information.


MySpace can be a harmless interactive website if used with caution. It is fine to post your interests and talk to friends, but it’s important that people are careful with posting personal information and know who to talk to and who not to talk to.


Sunday, January 31, 2016

Las peliculas de poquer mas recomendadas

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Desde la йpoca de oro del Oeste, jugar al Pуquer ha siempre sido un juego popular en Hollywood. A pesar de que muchas de las pelнculas de Hollywood que se localizan en pуquer no son muy buenas, y a veces presentan al juego de una manera ridнcula, mirar el juego desde la gran pantalla es muy divertido, especialmente si eres un jugador de Pуquer.

Acб te presentamos las mejores pelнculas que fueron producidas en Hollywood. Algunas son excelentes aparte de ser sobre el pуquer, mientras que otras el juego es el tema principal de atracciуn. De todas maneras, si eres fanбtico del pуquer, disfrutaras mucho de mirarlas!

1) The Sting, dirigido por George Roy Hill, 1973:
Esta pelнcula es menos a cerca del pуquer y mбs a cerca el arte de manejar las car6tas pero te proveerб dos horas de diversiуn sofisticada. El ganador de los Premios Academia de 1973, presenta al joven Paul Newman como el mejor artista de todos quien conduce a Robert Redford al arte de los trucos de carta. El trabajo de David S. Warn es basado en historias de juegos reales.

2) The Cincinnati Kid, dirigida por Norman Jewison en 1965:
Este clбsico es conocido por su estremecedor mano final y la inolvidable frase: "Llega a lo que se trata, no? Hacer la movida equivocada en el lugar preciso." The Cincinnati Kid es a cerca de la batalla entre Steve Macqueen que es un joven jugador de pуquer conocido por "The Kid", y el veterano apostador de pуquer conocido por "The Man" actuado por Edward G. Robinson, durante la gran depresiуn en New Orleans.

Es una de las mejore pelнculas de pуquer que he visto en la gran pantalla.

1) California Split dirigida por Robert Altman en 1974:
Puede que esta no sea una de las mejores pelнculas de Altmans, pero es una de las mejores representaciones de la vida de dos apostadores profesionales actuada por George Segal y Elliott Gould. La narrativa no es particularmente directa y el final no es exactamente feliz, pero si logra describir una experiencia autentica. Tambiйn, los fanбticos de pуquer trivial disfrutaran de aprender que el legendario jugador de Pуquer Amarillo Slim actъa un papel pequeсo.

2) Rounders dirigida by John Dahl en 1998:
No es claro si el йxito de la pelнcula empujo al boom del Pуquer en el siglo 21 o la popularidad del pуquer hizo Rounders un йxito total. De una manera u otra, Rounders es una de las mejores pelнculas de pуquer que ha habido en la pantalla. El tema de la pelнcula se basa en una maratуn en la que Mat Damon y Edward Norton tratan de ganar dinero para pagar deudas de apuestas. EL campeуn mundial de Pуquer Johnny Chan tambiйn aparece en escena.

3) Maverick dirigida por Richard Donner en 1994:
A pesar de que Maverick no es una pelнcula brillante en el бmbito del pуquer, es una divertida y entretenida pelнcula par mirar. Te puede dar una idea bбsica de lo que era ser un jugador de pуquer en el lejano oeste, con Mel Gibson como un maverick que trata de ganar suficiente dinero para el torneo del gran torneo final.